Drama

Its been a long time since I wanted to write a blog post. If this was a book there would have been cob webs on this one. There has been more attention seeking details on the front of my thinking queue in brain I couldn’t allot some time for this thought[Does that even make sense?].

I”m a peculiar creature. I have this habit of clinging on to something so hard and just drop it like it means nothing and the process repeats. KK says I’ve only a child’s ability to concentrate on things at hand.

For anyone who is not familiar with KK, I better explain the character as you will be hearing about him more from now on. KK is the person who has gone wild and agreed to be with me till the end of life, to sickness and to health(may be except the time when I’m hugging the toilet in the middle of night).

Moving back to the topic, I can’t concentrate on a thing more than few minutes. I need a distraction. Like when we sit down to read something, we get distracted even at staring the wall for more than few minutes. Even before I wrote this part of blogpost I checked my build, talked to a friend about his wedding plans, mailed few girlfriends. Yes I did this all in less than 5 minutes. You can argue sayings its called multitasking but the plain truth is my mind works in round robin fashion. Since KK have been saying for a long time and I ofcourse denying it and can’t bring to believe that I set to test it. On a quiet weekend, I set out to do the household chores by myself. I couldn’t believe how I do things in round robin. I clean the kitchen, then check if the laundry is done, go fold some clothes on the couch, sit and check the imessages from family, go back to cleaning.  When I’m middle of doing something, my mind looses interest and move on the next time in the queue. I’m not kidding.

From the last time I wrote a post and till now, lot has changed around me. I took a trip to India. Had a express kalyanam. I moved across two states so shifted twice. Went on a shopping spree for furniture. Sometimes spent more than couple of grands in one visit to a store(which is very very new to me). Also changed jobs twice, well the second time it was like coming back to work for same team after a 4 month vacation. Adopted new family, friends. Assume new role in your own family. It has been like a roller coaster  ride physically, emotionally and financially.

All this time, I was telling to myself things will settle down. But then I remembered I’ve been telling the same chappa reason for a long time now. When I was in 2nd std(yes I still say standard coz thats what we said growing up), my mom said it will be more fun in higher standards because you get to write in pen(probably borrow fountain pen from your sister or just take it). When I woke up at 5 in the morning for mock test in 10th std, I told myself I’ll be happy and contempt in 11th std. When I went to 11th std, I read both 11th and 12th portions. When I was toiling for the grueling 12th exams, everyone around me told that I will enjoy in college. Oh were they right about that. But sad part is I din’t know I was enjoying in college. So when I was in 3rd year, CUIC  was a crucial reminder of what awaits you in the following year. Get a job and you have no worries in the world. Then drop a bomb saying due to economic depression, offer revoked and that too over an email? come on people atleast spend a sheet of paper for our worth. Then change of plans, I thought it is just a hiccup in the settling down process.

GRE, SOP, admissions, visa, travel, orientation, courses, midterm, assignments, projects, grades, graduation. There goes the 2 years of my life. Ok, now I thought I would breath. May be take a vacation and go backpacking to Europe all alone(apparently hitchhiking, nobody is gonna sponsor me). Then enter the mapillai.

I was out of world but roaming in the stars. There was a pep in my walk and smile etched on my face ALL THE TIME. It is funny with all the feelings, romantic outings, mix cds and every little thing.

Europe: Hello this is Europe calling

Inv.Queen: oh yeah, change of plans honey. I’m bringing a +1.

Europe: No problem sweetie.

<Cheesy thats how I like it>

Wedding: Man it is not like what they show you in cinemas. No. Naah huh. Nope.(Imagine my head moving left to right and me snapping my fingers with a pouted lips). You know how you say “thats not true!” when you see a single event altering the lives of many people. Believe me it is called wedding. It is a day of our lives.  But looking back at it after just 8 months(phew was it that long ago?) its all hazy. All I remember is the smoke from the ritual, rice sticking at places it shouldn’t, having to stand, bend and repeat with almost 10kg of things on you, walking with your head down so people don’t see how bad you are sweating under the hot suit, that overwhelming feeling you feel when you drive away with your new family while waving back at your family and much more. Thats just what I felt. And of course there was this proudness, happiness, sadness, madness, angriness, hungriness, all the nesses in the world. Everybody goes through it.

You ever had to experience the change in your life which is inevitable and thats something you have been looking forward to for a long time. And when it is time to just bask in the glory of the change, you just start prepping yourself about a new one? And never get to enjoy the moment you living in? Yeah thats exactly how it is right now.

One would say “well atleast, now you are married and have a good job you can settle down and enjoy your life as a newly wedded blissful loving birds”. But guess what we did, we roamed around the town looking for the perfect couch. Every week we disagree on the latitude and longitude of the couch and rearrange, move things around in the house. Again when two independently well thinking individuals live together under the same roof, you can definitely see the sparks flying. We are like this strange creatures living together. Its not like we don’t agree on everything and keep fighting, luckily for us we never disagreed(so far) for any major life changing decisions. However take the small decision like “what’s for dinner?” , oh if you haven’t seen the reasons we give for our decision you haven’t seen them all. Especially here, KK is kinda of a person(being a man) doesn’t care much about lot of things so he usually agrees (or coerced into agreeing) with my decision. Most of the arguments end with me saying “Don’t ask me why! I din’t like it”. KK always has good reason for his actions and I never do.

Anyways, coming back to settling down there is no definite point to stop and say “yes I’m settled down”. Have you ever noticed people who say never actually finish the sentence. They always have that little something after which they will promise themselves that they will settle down. For single guys, it may be marriage. For girls, it may be having kids. For middle aged couple, it may be when kids go to middle school. For parents of teenagers, may be when kids go to college. For grandparents, may be once they are done gardening. We will always have something.

And the whole time, we keep imagining thinks that we would do when we settle down. So since our mind never says “i’m satisifed” you never will enjoy the awesome vacation you take. There I was standing on top of the Stratosphere tower, Las Vegas on a very expensive New Year’s eve party with my husband. While everyone around us was drunk and had no clue, I was talking to KK that we need to start early from the party so we don’t have to wait for the two elevator that have to take all these drunk people out. I never enjoyed the party or the view. But I’ve to say why I say KK is wild because, he listened to all what I got to say and helped me get out of the party Now you see why I had to marry this guy?

 

The point is I’m all about drama. I’m all about future that I forget to count the blessings or shitty things that happen to me in present. I wish I could get rid of drama from my life. But if I did, its like I’m throwing a big chunk of me outside. And I don’t plan on doing it.

Peace.

 

 

Why so serious?

Disclaimer: I wrote this draft on Aug 19, 2011. I thought it deserved to be on the wall. I guess I should finish it but to be honest I don’t know what I wanted to say. Well, ain’t the story of my life.

Recently I noticed a person who was very funny and interesting get morphed into someone who is very serious and boring. Yep thats me. Once upon a time, I was anything but serious. I talked about the movies like its the whole world. Everyday morning I woke up with nothing in my mind. I slept like a log through the night. When I watch a movie, I watch the movie and not think about plans for later that evening. But without even realizing I morphed into this grownup who always has plans on mind. When did I get so serious?

It is not just me. Everyone I knew has changed. Life as we see it has changed.

It grows on you

Are you tired of people just rejecting something you suggest without even trying? Even when you convince them saying “comeon try it once, it grows on you”. I would say, now stop pushing people to do something you like. Just take away options that they like, they will come to your option. So it just simply translates to as your options grow smaller and thinner, you become more open minded. Its not a change of heart, its just basic evolution technique that has kept us all alive so far.

Why this sudden thought? I love to snack when I’m burning the midnight oil. Usually in college that involves eating snacks we bought from Gurunath stores which are not very healthy options. But now keeping future events in mind, our eating paradigm shifted to healthy foods only dimension.

Earlier in the year, one of my family member entertained a “made in china” colleague with local Indian favorites and teas. As a thank you we received a very generous portion of Roasted chinese seaweed snack packs, Wulong tea bags  and lot of other things with “made in china” in it. As any kid who receives a gift, we all helped ourselves to a portion of the snack packs. The cover read “Crunchy, a little salty and surprisingly nutty”. About the taste lets just say it was over build up for something that looked like a crushed green tissue paper. This happened when we used to eat traditional three course sambar, rasam, curd with mango pickle dinner. Fast forward to present day with nobody to cook at home(don’t look at me) we turned to our old friend seaweed for a midnight snack. And guess what, it tasted just like they promised in the cover. Funny how lack of other options could do to one’s perspective about others.

Read: “Pasi vanthal pathum parakkum” . All these makes me wonder, how much tamil literature has covered. It is so awesome to be part of such a larger than life movement. I just feel bad that I could not still get myself to pronounce the three different la in Tamil properly. I may not be the perfect tamil speaking girl ever but I sure can appreciate the greatness of the language.

P.S: I’ve been known for jumping from one topic to another without any warning and I expect you to keep track of my context swaps(to satisfy the comp sci girl inside me).

 

Moving on

Whenever I hear people say world is going to end in 2012, I will make a small post it in my mind that reads “clean up your mess, do your bucket list items, be ready and prepared”. I do have many post-its in my mind under the ages of spider cob. When I listened to the news cast going on and on about a pending credit crisis and how our social and financial structure is going to collapse, it was like a deja vu. Din’t we all hear the same yabber jabber before? I’m not talking about recession 1.0(prob idea of a developer to version it). I’m talking about the meteor hit and death of dinosaurs. Oh yeah, we din’t have any chance of survival after that. Then boom.. miracle happened and people started coming up. All I’m saying is “ullagamey idinchu vilunthallum” we keep moving on.

Few weeks back, I was very obsessed with a disturbing video and was working on my post-it which also made its way as a blog post here. After two days, I moved on with my daily routine. No matter what happens to you or to anybody around you, life moves on and so does you. You may have more pressing problems and things to worry about in near future. All you want to do is close your eyes and let it pass over. You want to fast forward your days to a point in future where you will have enough strength and experience to face the issues you are facing now.

As one of the funny quotes read “Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it”. It doesn’t matter if you are closing your eyes or not, it is going to happen. So just buckle up for the rocky ride. Who knows it may be a smooth sail after all.

Note: If any of my scientific theory is wrong, then probably I slept through that lesson in school.

 

Funny fact: I was greeted by this from wordpress after I published this post “This is your 39th post. Wild! This post has 329 words”.  It is crazy. I spent entire week writing 500 words essay in school and now I write 329 words post in under 5 minutes. Now I’m seriously thinking about adapting to Columnist life of Carrie Bradshaw! No wonder she has time to shop and chat.

 

Obsession

I let this blog sleep for a long time. Obsession is a very rare phenomenon with me. Even if I had obsession with something, it will be useless mostly. Yesterday a mere 2 minute video sent chills down my spine and made me think what the hell I’m doing in my life. I’m not here to talk about the video however its so unfortunate and sad.

Have you ever wondered why you do certain things in your life ? We take life for granted. We walk around everyday thinking we got the eternity. When we see a reminder that our life is fragile and we would be kicked out of our precious life anytime, we just freak out for a day or two and go about doing our routine.

I like principle of living everyday as if it is your last day on earth. However its not practical. So this is me freaking out as the response to the video.

I have to put this out in the universe for all to read. When you love someone, let them know how much you love them. When you like someone’s company, let them know how much you appreciate their company. Tell your family members how much grateful for everything they have done and do for you. Hug your loved ones. Smile at strangers who hold the door for you. Say nice things to workers in the cafeteria. Basically you get it right, don’t be a bitch/jackass. Don’t be some faceless stranger all your life. Be someone who will be missed when you are gone.

 

Peace.

Pass it on

Note: The characters in this post are purely my e-adicham-copy mind’s figment, any incidental coincidence to living, dead, supernatural, extra terrestrial people or anyone is purely unintentional. (I can’t afford to get my car burned and more important I can’t be in there with it). But after writing all the explanations I feel that whoever came up with these genius lines must have hated the characters mentioned.

Chituational eggchample: When someone snatches something away from you which you have got after a long work and you can’t do a thing about it all you can say is “பிட்சை எடுக்குதாம் பெருமாள் அதையும் புடுங்கிசாம் அனுமாறு”.

Englipish transchulation: Say Perumal and Anumaar are close friends(help each others trouble), co-workers(in building the sethu bridge), buddies(hang out with thousand other monkey buddies). Perumal goes begging for a piece of bread and finally manages to get one when this Anumaar guy waltzes in and snatches it away. Since they are buddies and all the above mentioned, Perumal can’t exactly curse this Anumaar guy only say this proverb.

Chituational eggchample:  If you can’t keep your mouth shut and let it loose at wrong place/time and get into trouble that can be totally avoided if only you kept your mouth shut in the first place. You can say “எங்கையோ போற மாரியாத்தா என் மேல வந்து ஏறாத்தா ”

Englipish transchulation:  Maariyathaa is someone with bad temper and promising troublesome figure. She minds her business and doesn’t disturb you. But if you provoke her, she will make your life miserable. Basically she is just like most of the girls in this world

Chituational eggchample:  Same chituation as Maariyatha eggchample. You can also say “வேலில போற ஓனாய் எடுத்து வேட்டிக்குள்ள விட்ட கதை இது ”

Englipish transchulation: Chameleon minds its own business hanging out(literally) in the bushes. If you play around with it(to be very decent) ofcourse its spikes would hurt you. So leave the damn Chameleon alone, I say.

Chituational eggchample:  My personal favorite one. You are busy running around doing 100 things in a minute when not even a single job is worthy or important. However you put scene like you don’t have time for something or someone in your life. People would say “நாய்க்கு வேல்லை இல்லை ஆனா நிக்க நேரம் இல்லை”

Englipish transchulation: Doggie runs around the house as if on scheduled patrol(miss the theives, snakes,etc), bark at roadside dog beauties(miss suspicious looking creep near the gate), sniffing around and chasing it own tail. But it din’t do anything good.

Chituational eggchample: If you have super awesome car to show off, you don’t even need to show off people would know it. But if you have a pathetic looking almost dead car which however has a impeccable record of being your drive for years, you need to show off. Even when you know anybody can call your bluff. People would say “தானே தான மேய்ச்சுகனும் தவுட்டு கொழுகட்ட”

Englipish transchulation:  Kollukattai when made with rice is so awesome tasting. You don’t need to tell your friends your mom made it, just open the box and leave it unnoticed for a minute. It will sell itself. On the other hand, if you made the same kollukattai all on your own(how it tastes is not under discussion here) you need hunt down every one of your friend and have to shove it into their mouth to sell your kollukattai.

Chituational eggchample: You had a dream to become an awesome bowler in our cricket team(Research shows people relate more to cricket based posts recently, Yes I do research before I write posts). But you can’t even touch a ball that was thrown out after use. You can say “ஆசை இருக்கு  தாசில் பண்ண அம்சம் இருக்கு கழுத  மேய்க்க “

Englipish transchulation: You have dream to become a billionaire business man/woman and marry megan fox/brad pitt however you are a software engineer and your parents are searching for a gf/bf for you.

Chituational eggchample: When your smart-mouth friend tries to fool you say to him “உங்க அம்மா  வெள்ளரிக்காய் தின்னு உன்ன வெவரமா பெதாங்க எங்க அம்மா  கத்திரிக்காய் தின்னு என்ன கச முசனா பெதாங்க ?”

Englipish transchulation:  Its believed that when a mother carrying a baby,  eats brinjal their kid turns out to be messy, clumsy fella and if she eats cucumber their kid becomes smart fella. Either that or people really loved the rhyming words.

Chituational eggchample: You want to talk about your bad day at office to someone. When you open your mouth, there comes another bomb shell for you just to make your day even worse. You can stop them and say “கொடுமை கொடுமைன்னு கோவிலுக்கு போனா அங்க ரெண்டு கொடுமை ஆடிக்கிட்டு வந்ததாம் “

Englipish transchulation: When you run away from your troubles to the console of tasty yummy hot puliyodarai at temple and meet your trouble coming out with couple of cups of puliyodarai in your direction.

Whenever my mom, ammachi, paatti gives these proverbs in between their scoldings to me or excellent mimicry of other aunts, I would love to hear them. I was worried when our next generation finds it difficult to say they are hungry in Tamil, I wanted to make sure that this legacy is passed on. Tamil aravalars if you find any mistake with the spelling please let me know. If you know more of these proverbs also let me know. Ethuva irunthallum decent ah drop a comment, I’ll make the change. Atha vittu kaiya muyanu katha kodathu! Incase someone want to educate your kids about these informative proverbs here is the list.

• பிட்சை எடுக்குதாம் பெருமாள் அதையும் புடுங்கிசாம் அனுமாறு
• எங்கையோ போற மாரியாத்தா என் மேல வந்து ஏறாத்தா
• வேலில போற ஓனாய் எடுத்து வேட்டிக்குள்ள விட்ட கதை இது
• நாய்க்கு வேல்லை இல்லை ஆனா நிக்க நேரம் இல்லை
• தானே தான மேய்ச்சுகனும் தவுட்டு கொழுகட்ட *
• ஆசை இருக்கு  தாசில் பண்ண அம்சம் இருக்கு கழுத  மேய்க்க *
• உங்க அம்மா  வெள்ளரிக்காய் தின்னு உன்ன வெவரமா பெதாங்க எங்க அம்மா  கத்திரிக்காய் தின்னு என்ன கச முசனா பெதாங்க ?
• கொடுமை கொடுமைன்னு கோவிலுக்கு போனா அங்க ரெண்டு கொடுமை ஆடிக்கிட்டு வந்ததாம்
• ஆடு நனையுதேனு ஓணா வருத்த பட்டிச்சாம்
• விடிய விடிய ராமாயணம் கேட்டுட்டு சீதைக்கு ராமன் சித்தப்பான்னு சொன்னாளாம்
• மண்ணெண்ண வேப்பெண்ண வெளக்கெண்ண, பாக்கிஸ்தான் தோத்தா எனக்கென்ன *
• பகல்ல பசு மாடு போறது தெரியாதாம், இருட்டில எருமைமாடு போறது தெரியுதாம்
• ஆட தெரியாதவ கூடல் கோணல் மானல்லுனு சொன்னாளாம்

* – borrowed from friends

Added Later:

Chituational eggchample: When your nemesis feels pity that you are getting scoldings from your parents for getting low marks in a test that they excelled. You can say “ஆடு நனையுதேனு ஓணா வருத்த பட்டிச்சாம்”

Englipish transchulation:  When you see an awesome kolu kolu lamb standing in the butcher shop ready to be “consumed”, your mind pictures a hot plate of lamb chop. If you put scene like you are an PETA activist it will not work you see.

Chituational eggchample: You saw the entire series of Lord of the Rings and you confuse between nalla white thaadi thatha and ketta white thaadi thatha. People would say  ”விடிய விடிய ராமாயணம் கேட்டுட்டு சீதைக்கு ராமன் சித்தப்பான்னு சொன்னாளாம்”

Englipish transchulation:  Raman, Seetha – couple. You listened to entire series of their story and if you said they are Father and Daughter, you dozed off  after the first scene just like in lectures.

Chituational eggchample: You wear half a inch thick eye glasses, remove it you don’t see even if Surya stands just a reach away from you. <sigh> Aana you argue that you saw the person 500 feet away yawn. Then people would say “பகல்ல பசு மாடு போறது தெரியாதாம், இருட்டில எருமைமாடு போறது தெரியுதாம்”

Englipish transchulation:  Pasu maadu = white with kombu painted every year with bright colors thanks to Pongal and it is easily visible to naked eye. Erumai maadu = black/brown in color and would be a good camouflage animal for attacking next door troublesome lady. Go figure.

Chituational eggchample: Again this is my mom’s personal favorite, that she always bestows it on me. Just because you are lazy to do it doesn’t mean it is hard to do it. “ஆட தெரியாதவ கூடல் கோணல் மானல்லுனு சொன்னாளாம்”. In my defense, just when she tries the same darn thing goes smooth. Hereafter I’m calling her Chuck Norris of my house.

Englipish transchulation:  When you don’t know how to dance only way out that could save your face is to blame it on the place or the dance itself.

We r who we r

I have a very bad habit of acting like I am very well used to sth which I have done only a couple of times/days. I don’t know about others, but I get too contempt with the ways things are and in turn screw it up. In case of driving, I’ve been driving only almost for 2 years now(not counting years of being back seat driver). When I started driving at first, I was like a kid in a candy store. I would love to go driving alone. I used to pull down the windows, open the overhead window, feel the breeze in face, sun in the skin(only possible all year long in California), listening to Vijay kuthu songs(okay laugh it out I say) and even sing along in full screeching voice, all this for one quick stop to next block grocery shop. I would hold only at 10 and 2, every 2 min look at all three mirrors, follow every single rule I was taught. Then I slowly graduated from being novice driver, I become safe-enough-to-drive-niece-to-school driver, then to drive long trips and you get the picture.  As you keep doing sth again and again, you get a notion that you are getting better at it. It is NOT true. Just because you keep running like checkku maadu in a circle all day, it doesn’t make you a fashion model walking the ramp as my MOM puts it. We forget at many places that no matter what and where we are, we are who we are(somehow i had to include that like title of Rajini movie comes as a song). We don’t change. We may change our wardrobe, attitude, even our accent but we can never change who we really are. As we put it decently, “yenna thaan thala mudi viruchi potta modern cleopatra va irunthallum, veetukku vantha thayir satham karaichu kudikira case thaan namma”.  At times we need something or some person to remind it to us and to keep us grounded.

Disclaimer: I din’t write this post when I was condemned for my driving, which is totally possible though.

Ciao.